Stannarlbeptof is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, cheerful squirrel.

Stannarlbeptof created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stannarlbeptof, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stannarlbeptof, she will destroy your favourite star.

Stannarlbeptof's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Stannarlbeptof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Stannarlbeptof's name in vain.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about sheep.

4. You must love Stannarlbeptof.

5. Never eat bark.