Appjatsat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic crab.

Appjatsat created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Appjatsat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Appjatsat, it will turn you into a rat.

Appjatsat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Appjatsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not take Appjatsat's name in vain.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Do not speak about nuts.