Lidlooplig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented gerbil.

Lidlooplig created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Lidlooplig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lidlooplig, he will turn you into a rock.

Lidlooplig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Lidlooplig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never feed apples to mice while wearing violet hats.

3. Never chant in the presence of mites.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Lidlooplig.

5. Always help snakes.