Riltarpkem is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, sage finch.

Riltarpkem created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Riltarpkem, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Riltarpkem, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Riltarpkem's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Riltarpkem's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Retreat if three monkeys approach from the south.

3. Feed all hungry moths.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about dark matter near pigs while wearing fawn tights and balancing eight iron spheres on your back.