Ingmutlen is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humorless mongoose.

Ingmutlen created a down quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ingmutlen, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ingmutlen, it will not care at all.

Ingmutlen's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Ingmutlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat pineapples.

2. Ingmutlen loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Do not speak about coconuts.

4. Worship no other gods but Ingmutlen.

5. Do not make images of living things.