Mutarfmis is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving hummingbird.

Mutarfmis created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutarfmis, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mutarfmis, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Mutarfmis' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Mutarfmis' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Mutarfmis.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never paint your arms blue.