Tamkoport is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, competent wren.

Tamkoport created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamkoport, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tamkoport, he will turn you into a snail.

Tamkoport's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tamkoport's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tamkoport on top of all buildings.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to seals while wearing purple dresses.

4. Run away if four otters approach from the south.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.