Lincetwab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, happy human.

Lincetwab created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lincetwab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lincetwab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Lincetwab's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Lincetwab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Lincetwab.

2. Always obey Lincetwab's priests.

3. Lincetwab loves otters, so they must be honoured.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.