Gamvenjarnstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing bird.

Gamvenjarnstaf created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamvenjarnstaf, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gamvenjarnstaf, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gamvenjarnstaf's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Gamvenjarnstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt pigs.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always look after injured manatees.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.