Waphugceb is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, calm dugong.

Waphugceb created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Waphugceb, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Waphugceb, it will turn you into a rat.

Waphugceb's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Waphugceb's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

2. Never talk about mites.

3. Run away from indigo monkeys, for they are unholy.

4. Run away if three turtles approach from the east.

5. Fast once a month.