Quafyatthak is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, competent armadillo.

Quafyatthak created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafyatthak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quafyatthak, he will ignore you.

Quafyatthak's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Quafyatthak's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics.

4. Never run in the presence of rats.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.