Tarpyartbig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy rat.

Tarpyartbig created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpyartbig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarpyartbig, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tarpyartbig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tarpyartbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

3. Never mention tortoises.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Worship no other gods but Tarpyartbig.