Cadquartpan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, strong horse.

Cadquartpan created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cadquartpan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cadquartpan, he will turn you into a mole.

Cadquartpan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cadquartpan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Cadquartpan.

2. Never feed beans to snails while wearing gray jumpers.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about spacetime near birds while wearing green boots and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your hands.