Karpitgad Nakbitbest is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable badger.

Karpitgad Nakbitbest created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Karpitgad Nakbitbest, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Karpitgad Nakbitbest, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Karpitgad Nakbitbest's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Karpitgad Nakbitbest's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Hide from mauve goats for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Karpitgad Nakbitbest.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never play with disobedient children.