Ratcamven is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unfair hummingbird.

Ratcamven created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratcamven, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ratcamven, it will not care.

Ratcamven's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Ratcamven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat bark.