Paknarlpodsaw Garcingun Pignulldim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, quiet crocodile.

Paknarlpodsaw Garcingun Pignulldim created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Paknarlpodsaw Garcingun Pignulldim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Paknarlpodsaw Garcingun Pignulldim, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Paknarlpodsaw Garcingun Pignulldim's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Paknarlpodsaw Garcingun Pignulldim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Run away if three manatees approach from the north.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.