Spag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, amazing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Spag created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Spag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Spag's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Spag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Spag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never feed lots of beans to hamsters while wearing blue coats.

5. Do not covet oxen.