Ortvagvidgon is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, effective tortoise.

Ortvagvidgon created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortvagvidgon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ortvagvidgon, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ortvagvidgon's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ortvagvidgon's Holy Commandments

1. Ortvagvidgon loves gulls, so they must be respected.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Erect five iron sculptures of Ortvagvidgon on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Never run near foxes.