Somlapaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, merciless dove.

Somlapaf created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somlapaf, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Somlapaf, he will destroy your favourite star.

Somlapaf's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Somlapaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Never paint your legs indigo.