Tarnartdum is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, annoying beaver.

Tarnartdum created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarnartdum, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tarnartdum, it will turn you into a frog.

Tarnartdum's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Tarnartdum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tarnartdum.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not eat parsnips.