Funbemquam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless human.

Funbemquam created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funbemquam, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Funbemquam, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Funbemquam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Funbemquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt seals.

2. Always look after injured cats.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about enzymes.