Kanbitdap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional shrew.

Kanbitdap created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanbitdap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kanbitdap, he will turn you into a hamster.

Kanbitdap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Kanbitdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always treat birds with great respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kanbitdap.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.