Midwapmip is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, tiresome clam.

Midwapmip created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Midwapmip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Midwapmip, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Midwapmip's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Midwapmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Never talk about horses.

3. Never wear brown trousers.

4. Never hurt aardvarks.

5. Always obey Midwapmip's priests.