Bapwadbim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, competent tortoise.

Bapwadbim created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapwadbim, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bapwadbim, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bapwadbim's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bapwadbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Worship no other gods but Bapwadbim.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Never paint your arms magenta.

5. Respect your elders.