Nullsispak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, competent guinea pig.

Nullsispak created humanity four years ago.

If you believe in Nullsispak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nullsispak, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Nullsispak's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Nullsispak's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms purple.

2. You must pray to Nullsispak six times a day.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Run away if seven dolphins approach from the south.

5. Never pour water over plants.