Vidhivcumgep is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, contented cow.

Vidhivcumgep created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vidhivcumgep, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vidhivcumgep, he will turn you into a snail.

Vidhivcumgep's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Vidhivcumgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vidhivcumgep.

4. Run away if nine birds approach from the south.

5. Never sing near dogs.