Bab is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, boastful toad.

Bab created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bab, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bab's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bab on top of all buildings.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.