Zakjamzag is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, annoying faun.

Zakjamzag created the Virgo Supercluster four years ago.

If you believe in Zakjamzag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zakjamzag, she will boil you in a big pot.

Zakjamzag's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Zakjamzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near goats while wearing cyan shirts and balancing eight silicon spheres on your feet.

3. Do not hurt sharks.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always help voles in need.