Beppommil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, merciless goose.

Beppommil created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Beppommil, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Beppommil, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Beppommil's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Beppommil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Beppommil.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Beppommil.