Bessfunrangilcedsas is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, overgenerous whale.

Bessfunrangilcedsas created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessfunrangilcedsas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bessfunrangilcedsas, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bessfunrangilcedsas' most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bessfunrangilcedsas' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bessfunrangilcedsas.

2. Bessfunrangilcedsas loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Hide if seven capybaras approach from the east.

5. Never look at black holes.