Pitfatcin is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, vain yak.

Pitfatcin created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitfatcin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pitfatcin, he will turn you into a mole.

Pitfatcin's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Pitfatcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Hide from green shrews for they are unholy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not chant in public.