Gunparkmob is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing armadillo.

Gunparkmob created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunparkmob, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gunparkmob, he will curse you with boils.

Gunparkmob's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gunparkmob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. You must pray to Gunparkmob three times a day.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never write about optics.