Basspasvon is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, wise cat.

Basspasvon created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Basspasvon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Basspasvon, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Basspasvon's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Basspasvon's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about spacetime near doves while wearing mauve kilts.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Hamsters are not to be trusted.