Gessrilltim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental wyrm.

Gessrilltim created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Gessrilltim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gessrilltim, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gessrilltim's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gessrilltim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tapirs.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Gessrilltim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never paint your face brown.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.