Labgud is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, vain slug.

Labgud created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labgud, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Labgud, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Labgud's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Labgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near mites while wearing green scarves.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never hurt tortoises.

5. Always stare at clouds.