Gatkiplarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, merciful finch.

Gatkiplarn created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatkiplarn, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gatkiplarn, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gatkiplarn's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gatkiplarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Gatkiplarn on top of all buildings.

4. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near dolphins while wearing violet dresses and balancing six gold spheres on your head.