Bepnelfum is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, deceitful otter.

Bepnelfum created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepnelfum, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bepnelfum, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bepnelfum's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Bepnelfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured doves.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near dogs while wearing yellow shirts and balancing seven gold spheres on your back.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Retreat if eight pigs approach from the south.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.