Tailquatquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unselfish gnu.

Tailquatquaf created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailquatquaf, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tailquatquaf, she will turn you into a goat.

Tailquatquaf's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tailquatquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Do not kill badgers.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Tailquatquaf must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never hurt mites.