Ratlimcim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, strong wolf.

Ratlimcim created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Ratlimcim, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ratlimcim, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ratlimcim's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Ratlimcim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured seals.

2. Feed all hungry frogs.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Ratlimcim must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Respect your elders.