Nellsakquill is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-confident gorilla.

Nellsakquill created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellsakquill, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nellsakquill, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Nellsakquill's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nellsakquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ants.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Nellsakquill in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nellsakquill.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.