Rotingtag Dunquimpom is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, effective octopus.

Rotingtag Dunquimpom created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotingtag Dunquimpom, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rotingtag Dunquimpom, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rotingtag Dunquimpom's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Rotingtag Dunquimpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing purple boots and balancing seven gold spheres on your hands.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about dogs.