Dimvagbifnurcarfot is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, staggering dove.

Dimvagbifnurcarfot created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimvagbifnurcarfot, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dimvagbifnurcarfot, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dimvagbifnurcarfot's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Dimvagbifnurcarfot's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Dimvagbifnurcarfot in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Worship no other gods but Dimvagbifnurcarfot.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.