Hugjabgof is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying gorilla.

Hugjabgof created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hugjabgof, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hugjabgof, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Hugjabgof's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Hugjabgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to swans while wearing skirts.

2. Do not take Hugjabgof's name in vain.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never sing in the presence of capybaras.