Bassbempon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, moody centaur.

Bassbempon created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassbempon, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bassbempon, she will turn you into a frog.

Bassbempon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bassbempon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Always help moths in need.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Run away from pink squirrels, for they are unholy.