Zanhatkap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, compassionate unicorn.

Zanhatkap created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanhatkap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zanhatkap, it will not care.

Zanhatkap's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Zanhatkap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Zanhatkap on top of all buildings.

3. You must love Zanhatkap.

4. Retreat if three tapirs approach from the north.

5. Never wear skirts.