Dotvilstaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate ant.

Dotvilstaf created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotvilstaf, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dotvilstaf, she will turn you into a snail.

Dotvilstaf's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dotvilstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Always wear gray.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Dotvilstaf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Do not listen to music.