Fotfummap is a god.

She takes the form of a small, two-faced mink.

Fotfummap created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotfummap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fotfummap, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fotfummap's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Fotfummap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Fotfummap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.