Veenvedgen is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic rhinoceros.

Veenvedgen created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenvedgen, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Veenvedgen, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Veenvedgen's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Veenvedgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must pray to Veenvedgen seven times a day.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Veenvedgen on top of all buildings.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Hide if eight dogs approach from the east.