Mutvanyartig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, caring monkey.

Mutvanyartig created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutvanyartig, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mutvanyartig, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Mutvanyartig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Mutvanyartig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Worship no other gods but Mutvanyartig.