Yartzanwik Bagmonfas is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust snake.

Yartzanwik Bagmonfas created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartzanwik Bagmonfas, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yartzanwik Bagmonfas, he will ignore you.

Yartzanwik Bagmonfas' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Yartzanwik Bagmonfas' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Always help voles.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Do not leap in public.